Rince and Repeat.

GW40 - DemBlades 3 - 3 DemSnoopySwans

Bere up the top of the Manor, I go in and order two… count them, two king-size double-dipped pork sarnies. Not a crackling fan, don’t shoot me, but the succulent pork, dripping with fat as the broad accent Yorkshire lasses carved it fresh from the joint…

The teacake, soft as a cloud (and I’m not arguing about it, that’s what it is), gets absolutely smothered in that glistening pork fat. Double-dipped in fact. Drenched. A salty, fatty masterpiece with soft pork nestled in between. Aroused yet?

I leave and I cant wait so tuck into mine as the juciey pork fat and slice of meat combine with the soft fluffy teacake I start pondering about the game and how were going to fuck this one up. I head towards the ground to meet one of my best mates, Bobby, who’s been living the life out in Seville. He’s back for Easter, seeing family, and fancied a trip to the game. The second King Size double dipped pork sarnie was for him.

As I’m bounding over to him, arms full of king-size double-dipped sarnies, he drops the sort of news no mate wants to hear:

“Mate… last man standing’s on 5k… and I’ve gone for United.”

I tell him straight, he’s a fool. But what’s done is done. Bob is a brilliant footballer and knows the game well, Liverpool fan though so he hasn’t really followed us implode recently.

We crack on and head to the Railway boozer. Couple of pints — Inch’s for me, and being the true Sevillian he is, Cruzcampo for him. Then he does something even dafter… backs us on his acca. That’s mistake number two. Doubling down, like he did with the sarnie.

Anyway, that’s the food porn done. Since getting back to America I’ve lost my charger, so this is a bit later than planned.

I watched Sheffield United live and in living colour on Saturday, and it was just as frustrating as I keep reading about on Matt’s Substack.

This is just my opinion, but Harrison Burrows defensively is all over the place. That third goal, which will rightly get pulled apart in the goal review — is some of the daftest defending I’ve seen in a long time.

And the penalty? That’s Sunday league stuff. The kind you’d expect down at the Navigation or the Rose of York hungover on a sunday morning.

But you can’t ignore the fact United were 3–1 up after 75 minutes and never looked in any real danger. They were cruising and that’s probably the most frustrating part of it all. There’s clearly something in this team. They’re good enough to brush sides aside… but equally just brittle or shite enough to throw it all away in a heartbeat.

That’s the contradiction. One minute this attacking football team we all long for , self-sabotage the next.

Anyway, Bob cursed us properly. On 70 minutes he turns, calm as you like, and says: “We’ll be fine as long as we get to 80.”

You could almost hear the football gods chuckling away.

And from there… well, some good, some bad…

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Good - Scoring three goals

The Blades scoring three goals was something of the norm earlier on under Wilder, but that’s dried up recently. So, to get three for the first time since the 1st of February was a pleasant thing to see.

Three different scorers as well, which has kind of been the theme of the season. Burrows once again proving he’s a better attacker than defender, and I thought Gus was brilliant, you could really tell the difference when he went off.

Ultimately, like I said in my intro, there is something in this United squad. Going forward, when it clicks, they look really good. Bamford again looked sharp, and it was nice to see him get the full 90. Cannon getting on the scoresheet was great to see as well and it was a brilliant goal so bonus points for him.

Hell, in the first half alone they missed two or three really good chances to push on.

I think there’s a germ of a team there… it’s just a bit like a really nasty, annoying germ — the kind that ends up making you ill.

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Bad - History Repeat Itself.

The season is over, let’s be right. It was over after that stupid draw at West Brom. So why does he keep taking Jairo off after 65 minutes? It makes zero sense, and it keeps costing us games.

There’s one very, very common denominator in these second-half collapses, and it’s when Jairo comes off. We lose all defensive protection. Peck doesn’t quite have that in him yet, and Rothwell isn’t that type of player, he probably needs someone like Jairo next to him.

Yet it’s something we’ve seen constantly from Wilder. In fact, he hasn’t made it past the 72nd minute in the last six starts, and he was injured before that run. I don’t really understand why Wilder is protecting him at this point. Just play him longer and see if we don’t fall to pieces. Is it almost too obvious?

Is it Wilder being his usual stubborn self? Is it a minutes restriction? Who knows. But what I do know is this: QPR, we were winning and went on to win because they were shit. West Brom, we were winning. Norwich, we were winning. Birmingham didn’t change much. Wrexham, we were drawing and well in the game. And on Saturday, we were cruising.

He just doesn’t seem interested in keeping him on and taking Peck off instead.

I do think he stays next season, and I might do a piece with Matt about how we look going forward. But if he does stay, hopefully it means he can start playing the full 90.

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Good breakdown — The third… Jesus might have risen today, but he’d have rolled that rock straight back over the cave if he’d seen that.

So, first things first, this is the first goal breakdown in a while because, before I went away, United weren’t really making these sort of stinking errors. Now? That’s clearly changed.

There’s been a lot of discussion about Bindon and Tanganga not being able to play together, and I can see where that comes from. There are moments where it looks clunky, but I do think that undersells just how important McCallum has become.

He’s been a massive miss since the ankle break. Balance has gone, simple as that. The left side doesn’t feel as secure, and it’s not a coincidence that performances have dipped since he’s been out, anyway…

Bindon is in a pretty good position, and you’re quite happy with him just staying behind the ball. Tom Davies is our left winger — a pretty interesting sub from Wilder.

Bindon, like Peck for the penalty, tries to nick it in front of his man and fails. But if that’s the case, Burrows needs to tuck in quicker. Still, Bindon shouldn’t be putting himself in that position — just stay goal side of your man.

Bindon shouldn’t be just cantering back, he should be busting his bollocks. But equally, because Burrows hasn’t tucked in quickly enough, he’s caught completely on the wrong side, and all it takes is a pathetic little nudge to knock him off the ball and…

Burrows has three simple options — he can just clear it in any of those directions — but he doesn’t. Instead, he hooks it straight into the attacker’s path. Even then, there’s no real danger at that point…

Now there’s danger. Burrows is MIA, Tanganga can’t leave his position, but the midfielder to his right should be dealing with that. Seriki should also be more open there and set up better, in my opinion

At this point, it’s too late. The lad who scores has the run on Seriki, and it’s always going to be a goal.

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Recap

Listen, it had that end-of-season feel two teams stuck going nowhere. Bob picked a great game to come to for a quarter Blade fan.

But it’s evidence of how fragile this side is, and why it’s ultimately fallen short. Some of that has to sit with Wilder’s management as well.

Bristol City feels like the same script. I suspect the Blades will probably be the better side for most of the game… and still find a way to throw it away.

For 70 minutes, United showed they’re better than where they are in the table. Then they showed exactly why they are where they are. No matter how good your players are, if you can’t stay switched on for a full 90, you get punished.

And as for Bob — he loved his annual visit to the Lane and his pork sarnie… but he might avoid backing the Blades next time.

Thanks for reading. Get involved in the comments (and tell me whatever you wrongly call a teacake), and like and subscribe if you haven’t already.

I miss my holiday…..